How can you please a man; if you have decided no sex until marriage?

There was a conversation that took place earlier today, and the question came up, “How can a woman please a man; if she has decided not to have sex until after marriage.”

You know, I had to run to the computer to get some feedback about this question because it was shocking to think about all the ways females can please a man but can’t because she has decided to wait. OMG!!!!

Scenario 1…

Say, a woman is single and she has a conversation with God about changing her life –deciding to do all the things the Bible speaks about… including not having sex before marriage. Make a note; she’s not a virgin…ok!! She just wants to do things differently.  All is well… until!!!! She meets a man that interests her…kind, loving, patient, understanding, and considerate. At the beginning of the friendship everything was hunky-dory; hanging out and chilling, good conversations with uncontrollable laughter, but she notice there is a physical attention that grows with each encounter.  So she let it be known; she is waiting until marriage to have sex. He looks strange at her for a moment but he soon says…ok. But guess what, things get very heavy in his desire for her… and being the kind man he is…hringse tells her… it’s becoming hard to wait. Then, that question came, “What can you do to please me, and still not have sex?” MMmmmmmmm

Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20

Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. 1 Corinthians 7:1-2

Scenario 2…

A woman has been hurt by love; over and over again. She decides to take a mental evaluation of her life and decides not to have sex with anyone else until she is married.  Her life seems great and everything is good. She meets a man broken-heartand on the first date she tells him, “I have decided not to have sex until I’m marry”. He smiles, and says, “I commend you.” The dinner continues and she has a beautiful time with him because he didn’t respond with harsh words, but as soon as the dinner was over; the whole thing was over. No call the next day or the day after.  Her girl friend says, “No man is going to wait until marriage for sex”. Being a little discouraged she holds on to her decision…NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE. Her girl friend comes back with, “If you want a relationship, how could you please him and still not have sex?”


I asked several people about this topic and gather so great answers like…chose God First, if he loves you…he will wait, follow your heart, even Oral sex and hand jobs are sinful and still sex (eyebrows raised).  But I want to know…

bullhorn***I feel you have to be true to yourself…I know if you love a person you want to make him/her happy, but if it makes you miserable -it’s not worth it. Once you have made that chose to improve your life…don’t stop. If  he/she loves you, they will understand; rather they stay or walk away…everyone has to be true to themselves. 

what say you?

Is there a way you can please a man without physical sex?

What to do when your feelings are too deep?

Could you just walk away?

Give me your thoughts…..

5 thoughts on “How can you please a man; if you have decided no sex until marriage?

  1. This is an interesting topic. I agree you have to be true to self. What must be remembered is that we are human. Will not having sex before marriage put you any higher in the good book? Not necessarily. Yes the bible says to flee from all forms or debauchery, physical and non physical, but if you really look at it with human eyes, can you? To deny the flesh is not the skin on your bones per say but the desires of the heart and allow God to govern your life. If you truly believe that He is your saviour and know you are free from condemnation, you don’t have license to go and keep sinning. You have a decision to make and to make the one that is right for you. You have been given the ability to choose. God does not want miserable followers. Marriage is a sacred union and should be taken seriously. The decision that two people make must be decided with G-d in mind not self.

  2. I WAS a virgin until I got married at 39. That was NOT easy. But I did it. And we didn’t do oral or, um, hand things :). Lots of kissing. Lots of kissing. And let’s just say we figured it out after we got married. Great topic.

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